For quite a few years there was a debate that I was always on the losing end of, purely because I was out numbered by a bunch of Christmas music purist snobs. Namely some of my closest friends, and The Editor. However, Bob Rivers started coming out with songs I could stand, and that make me jolly. And isn't that what Christmas is supposed to be about? Happy merriment, and joyous days.
The album opens with There's Another Santa Claus, which is Here Comes Santa Claus, except mocking all the Santa's you see everywhere ringing their bells for charity, or sitting in the mall, ect. It's a great lead into the album.
From that it's on to a parody of Walking In A Winter Wonderland called Walkin 'Round In Women's Underwear, which is great and absolutely hilarious. I love the fact that they take Christmas songs and turn them into "normal" songs, and I use that term lightly.
The only thing better than taking a Christmas song and turning it into a great parody, is by taking a great Classic Rock song and making it one of the most bitching Christmas songs of all time. The track I Am Santa Claus uses Black Sabbath's Iron Man, and makes Santa bad ass. "I am Santa Claus / Ho ho ho ho ho / Flying Through the snow / Can you hear him ho ho ho / He's so full of cheer / Only has to work one day a year / Children in their beds / Visions of sugar plums fill their heads / So many kids out there / Santa must be a billionare / Red suit, boots of black / Big sack of toys hanging off his back / How much does he weigh / How do the reindeer pull his sleigh / Nobody sees him / As he travels the world / Leaving his presents / For the good boys and girls / Ho ho ho ho ho / Sees every move you make / Better be good for goodness sake / Leave him cookies and beer / He'll be back to your house first next year / I am Santa Claus / Ho ho ho ho ho". I love this song. I even love it more than the original Iron Man.
The next two tracks run into each other. The first is Manger 6 which is a take on the older commercials for a chain called Motel 6 or something like that, from a way gone era. It's the pefect set up to O Little Town Of Bethlehem, which is the lyrics to the classic Christmas carol, mixed to the music of House Of the Rising Sun from The Animals. My only complaint is the song is too short, otherwise it's simple genius.
I Came Upon A Roadkill Deer is a 50's crooner rendition of I Came Upon A Midnight Clear. The lyrics are cute and have a couple good chuckles, but this is not a favourite of mine by any stretch.
Then it's on to Teddy The Red-Nosed Senator, which is easy to figure out which song they are parodying. Now that Ted Kennedy has passed along, part of me finds the song a bit out of taste, but it's still really funny, if you know of his binging legends.
Grahbe Yahbalz is a bit of a cleverly written title for Deck the Halls, and lyrically mocks Michael Jackson's crotch grabbing. Much like the track before I find the taste a bit changed now, but still a really well written track.
A Letter To Santa is supposed to be The Godfather's letter to Santa, done in the Brando voice. It's a great little track, that you just need to listen to for yourself.
Jingle Hells Bells, which is probably conjuring ideas of Highway To Hell mixed with Jingle Bells, but don't panic that is not the case, is next. It's My Favourite Things from The Sound Of The Music, which as Andria points out is arguable as a Christmas song to start with, mixed with Highway To Hell. It's so well done, and the first time I heard this song I thought it was the perfect 80's Glam Metal Christmas song. "Ho Ho Ho / Ho Ho Ho / Like Guns N Roses with Axel Rose spittin' / Ozzie's black eyes and the bats that he's bitten / Big Marshall stacks and a broken E-string / These are a few of my favorite things / Ho Ho Ho / Penthouse apartments and twelve in a hot tub / Drinking Jack Daniels while getting a backrub / Little gold chains pinned to brass nipple rings / These are a few of my favorite things / We like bar fights / We like nose rings / We like eating snails / We always indulge in our favorite things / No wonder our skin's so pale / Girls in black leather with tight little tushes / Tattoos on big bosoms of prickly rose bushes / Silver stretch limos that come when I ring / These are a few of my favorite things / We like bar fights / We like nose rings / We like eating snails / We always indulge in our favorite things / No wonder our skin's / Jingle hell's bells / Ho Ho Ho".
The Kids follows that up. It's a great little filler track that will warm the heart, and I mean that seriously, but it's one of the tracks I skip the most.
There are a lot of sketch pieces on this album, which is great when you are into comedy albums of that nature. Which is why The Magical Kingdom Of Claus is a great take on when Dorothy goes to visit the great and powerful Oz. It's done very well, right down to the background music. Then they bust into If I They Only Had A Train, which has lyrical content explaining why Santa's Workshop closed down.
The "What's It To Ya" Chorus, I believe is basically a take on the New York Christmas Spirit. Which is pretty much a bunch of stupid loud mother morons spouting off a bunch of "What's it to ya" to the tune of Hallelujah (the Christmas song). This track is a filler that I don't think twice about skipping.
Didn't I Get This Last Year has lyrics exploring those crappy ass gifts you get every year, set to the music of Do You Hear What I Hear. It's pretty decent.
The Under Tree World Of Jacques Cousteau, can only be understood if you know any of Jacques Cousteau's under sea documentaries. The production on this track is top notch, and it's written with some well crafted wit.
The album finishes with O Christmas Tree, and there's nothing funny about this one, until you hear the guy in the back ground pull out and fire up a chain saw, at which point it's played like an instrument in the song. This isn't a funny haha kind of piece. It's more like a smile and slightly chuckle kind of track.
As much as I like this CD I do find it a bit boring, and would have liked to have heard more music. Luckily that's why there are more than one of these CDs, because those Classic Rock Parodies are wicked cool.
6/10 - content
8/10 - production
7/10 - personal bias
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